Joke : Just whisper them to the judge
1. A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. "Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them," instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. "But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear," she protested."Then," said the attorney, "just whisper them to the judge."
2. A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"The bum said, "No."The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"The bum said, "No."Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"