Joke : How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
1. Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.
2. Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."
3. I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.
4. A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor. John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.