First relationships have deeper effects than you know

Relationship | July. 27, 2017

You may not know it, but there is a likelihood that you have residues and bear traits from your past relationships in your present relationship.

Sometimes these are not intentional or conscious. They manifest as influences on your actions and expectations in subsequent relationships.

“You may not know even know these things, but they are often there,” says Inemesit Udodiong, host of Love Sex and Everything Else.

“There are subtle and obvious psychological changes that affect the way you love after a broken relationship, especially if it was the first,” she says.

According to her, first relationships indeed have long-lasting effects on other relationships and life in general.

Among them are the following:

1. Love language

A first relationship could define the way you view love and affection.

Your partner’s form of giving you affection could become deeply entrenched in your mind that you expect subsequent partners to match those actions.

That first relationship helps you know the things that makes you feel most loved and appreciated and what your love language is.

2. Emotional damage

“Some women prefer guys that are violent.

To them, a gentle nice guy is not ideal, and needs to show flashes of anger and aggression if they are to consider them ideal,” says Inem.

Behaviours as this are abnormal. Love is not meant to hurt intentionally and anyone who intentionally inflicts pain isn't expressing love right.

But these people are damaged from old relationships which dents the way they express emotions, and interpret them.

3. Cheating & infidelity

If the sex was so good in the first relationship that other relationships could never replicate it, there is a possibility that this could lead to sexual dissatisfaction which has been found to be one of the biggest reasons why people cheat.

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